where is thanksgiving?

Well. I'm not saying I had a bad Thanksgiving. I worked, which wasn't actually that fun, because regardless of it being a stay-at-home-with-your-family kind of holiday, no one stayed home. Everyone had to go out and look for things that are open and this in turn makes things open for these people who are looking for things that are open. It is a ridiculous cycle. It's nice to get paid a little more (and I really mean a little) but I would much rather be afforded the pleasure of staying home and not having to wait on people who could care less what I do with my holiday, as long as they get what they want.
I went home and ate homemade taters (I make the best, really) and box-made macncheese. Good Thanksgiving dinner. I wanted some kind of stuffing, but I don't think it was meant to be. I watched the wedding episode of the Office and spent the rest of the night by myself while Jason went to visit a friend. And then we found the maggots, but that's a whole other story.

I was a bit sad for most of the day, but, as I am famous for saying, it's the kind of sad that you aren't really conscious of until someone asks why you look down. Then you realize that maybe something has you upset. I guess it was just a longing for things to be like they were, or at least more like they were.
I just remember years seeming longer, and each Thanksgiving and Christmas and every other holiday seeming light years away from the last. Like there was time in between to mentally prepare and be excited for each one. Now every month goes by so fast, and days go by before I can mark them off of the calendar. I vaguely remember the last Winter and the Summer starting out cold. I remember wanting to go to the beach and just camping out in my parents yard instead. I remember finally going to the beach and loving it. And now here we are. Christmas is less than a month away and it doesn't feel nearly as exciting or that it has been that long since the last one.

Every Thanksgiving we would go to Gramma Faltin's house in West Newton. It seemed really far away and like I would never remember how to get there. I was always the youngest, so there was never really a kid's table. Just my highchair that I used until I was probably 12. I had to sit by my mom because everyone else made me nervous. Gramma was healthy then and cooked everything for everyone. I always thought she was so cute when she had her teeth out and would laugh her big laugh with a gummy smile. We watched cable, which was foreign to my family (and still is). Uncle John called me Judy and I hated it. He thought it was funny. I liked to hide in the bedroom and look at the old pictures on the wall and think about how much my brother looked like my great Uncle John. I liked to think about Gramma living in another country and speaking another language and being a little girl that I didn't know. I waited to have my jello/cool whip dessert and cherry 7up in a fake wine glass. I liked to sit in the big red chair. I wish it still existed, just like Gramma and family Thanksgivings. I wish Thanksgiving still felt like an event to prepare for and nap after, instead of another day to wake up and feel as unspecial as the last.

I hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving and I don't mean to bum anyone out!

P.S.- I love macncheese.